I Will Sleep Until My Problems Disappear - Tee

💤 I Will Sleep Until My Problems Disappear Tee

The plan is simple: crawl into bed, face-plant into a pillow, and wait for reality to uninstall itself.

This shirt is for anyone who’s mastered the ancient art of strategic unconsciousness. Bills due? Emotions flaring? Global chaos? Not your problem—you’re napping through it like a tiny, purring nihilist with boundary issues.

The world can wait. You’ve got eight hours (or 36).

Perfect For:

– Anyone who’s ever said “I’ll deal with it tomorrow”...every day
– Fans of aggressive apathy and long naps
– Cats, cryptids, and anyone who’s been “recharging” since 2019
– People whose problems have unionized and started sending emails

🐾 Internal Mood Metrics

Avoidance Level – 98%
Napping Skill – S+
Problem-Solving Energy – Remains Untapped
Face-to-Pillow Ratio – 1:1

Side effects may include chronic comfort and zero accountability.

🧵 Product Features

– 100% ring-spun cotton: soft enough to ghost your responsibilities in comfort
– Lightweight (4.5 oz/yd²): because effort is exhausting
– Unisex fit—for all species of sleep-enthusiasts
– Durable print: survives naps, breakdowns, and Monday mornings
– Tagless neckline: no scratchy distractions during avoidance sleep

🧼 Care Instructions

Wash cold. Tumble dry low. Do not disturb.
Shirt may encourage reckless amounts of sleeping and low-stakes existentialism.

OFMITA

We Hate Everything – Even Consciousness – Professionally.