Attempted Murder – Tee

Attempted Murder – Tee

For the birdwatchers with a twisted sense of humor… or anyone who just appreciates a good dad joke with a forensic twist. This tee features two loudly squawking crows perched on a branch — not quite enough for a murder, but definitely enough for an incident report. Consider it the official uniform for people who love wordplay, ravens, corvid chaos, or explaining puns to confused strangers at the grocery store.

It’s the shirt that lets everyone know you’re the type who laughs at true crime podcasts, corrects people on the difference between crows and ravens, and can’t resist dropping a joke that’s 50% ornithology, 50% felony.

Wear it camping, birding, or anytime you need a punchline that lands better than your last relationship.

Product Features
• 100% ring-spun cotton for a soft, lightweight feel (4.5 oz/yd²)
• Tubular knit construction (no side seams) so you don’t bunch up like a stressed-out corvid
• Ribbed collar with shoulder tape for durability
• Oeko-Tex certified fabric

Care Instructions
Machine wash cold (max 30°C / 90°F) with similar colors
Tumble dry low
Do not bleach
Do not dry clean
Iron/steam/dry on low heat

OFMITA
We Hate Everything – Even You – Professionally… but at least crows like you enough to attempt something.