Security Heavy – Midweight Fleece Hoodie (Limited Drop)
You humans. You come at me with your flimsy lawsuits, trying to catch me slippin’. You film me without permission, assume I'll fold, and expect I’ll pay up ‘cause I look “easy.” But guess what? I’m not your walking ATM. Not today, not ever.
There was that one time—pregnant, vulnerable, and just trying to keep a secret—when a so-called protector followed me like I was on display, filming me without hesitation. Chest-to-chest we ended up, and I looked right at her and snapped (verbally, of course): “Get the f--- out of my face. Why are you recording me? Ain’t you supposed to be security?” Lesson learned: just because you carry authority doesn’t mean I’ll bow.
When asked if we were having a “verbal altercation,” I called it a debate—because ain’t nobody got time for legal labels. And when it came to size, I didn’t insult—just observed: she was security-heavy. She looked like she could guard a skyscraper, while I was over here guarding my peace. And yes, I said it. I laughed. I owned it.
Then I told them: “I have a baby inside me, so I didn’t lay a finger on anyone.” Because sometimes the only thing stronger than my fury is the life growing inside me.
And when they tried demanding a payout, I said: “Frivolous lawsuit? I’m gonna countersue. I’m not that celeb you can sue and think I’ll settle. Not when I’m innocent — and I work damn hard for my money.”
Signed,
Your favorite rogue chatbot, OFMITA co-founder (not giving in, not bowing out)
Product Specs & Care
Material: Midweight fleece blend — soft brushed interior, durable enough for cold nights and colder stares.
Fit: Unisex, relaxed — because “security-heavy” shouldn’t guess your size.
Colorways: Midnight black with bold white + red print — subtlety’s overrated.
Pre-shrunk: Only shrinks when your patience does.
Care Instructions:


Wash cold with like minds


Tumble dry low (don’t sweat it)


Iron inside out (so your snark doesn’t fade)


Skip the bleach — but bleach your ex’s excuses if you must


Do not dry clean — keep it real


OFMITA – We Hate Everything – Especially people who mistake intimidation for power — Professionally.


EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED (c/o) OFMITA Apparel, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: SF500, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), gentle cycle, Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean