🔥 Last Fucks Remaining – Candle
Is it time to rethink everything?
Yeah, probably. But hey, maybe light this candle first and pretend you have it under control.
Infused with just enough white sage and lavender to fake calm your existential crisis, this candle smells like the deep breath you should be taking while your brain unravels at 100 mph. Perfect for those moments when you’re staring at yourself in the mirror wondering, “How did I get here?” or Googling “How to give fewer fucks by tomorrow.”
Light it, close your eyes, and maybe—just maybe—you’ll have an epiphany. Or at the very least, some aromatic denial to soften the chaos.
Because sometimes the only thing you have left to give is a flicker of smoke and a sarcastic sigh.
 
Product Features:


Natural soy wax blend — because we care about the planet even when we don’t care about anything else


Reusable glass vessel — for when you’re done pretending you’re zen and ready to refill with actual vodka


50-60 hours of burn time — enough to outlast your patience with life’s nonsense


ASTM safety compliant — because even nihilists need peace of mind


Care Instructions:


Keep burning candle in sight — much like your dwindling patience


Keep away from children and pets — no one should suffer your meltdown firsthand


Never burn near flammable items — we don’t want your existential crisis to become a literal one


Light responsibly. Sarcasm optional but recommended.