Autumn hits different when you're trapped in a beige labyrinth built by sadistic farmers and Instagram expectations. You went in for wholesome fun. You came out questioning every major decision since birth.
This isn’t a seasonal tee—it’s a distress signal in flannel drag. A wearable reminder that beneath every charming hayride lies a primal scream. No GPS. No escape plan. Just you, your spiraling thoughts, and a toddler in a Minions hoodie leading the way.
This shirt doesn’t mock your breakdown. It honors it.
Features:


100% ring-spun cotton — soft enough to muffle a cornfield scream


Classic unisex fit — perfect for all genders of seasonal despair


Crew neck, ribbed collar — clings tighter than your false sense of direction


No side seams — one less thing to unravel


Shoulder tape — for support when your spirit gives out


Printed on demand — like your panic, summoned with zero warning


Ethically sourced — which is more than we can say for the haunted corn maze clown


Wear it when:
 


You’re attending “fun” fall events out of spite


You’ve cried this week and want credit for it


Your internal compass is emotional chaos


You need a shirt that’s just as lost as you are