🍼 GENTLE PARENTING DROPOUT – COLORFUL MUG
Est. This Morning.
The day started with affirmations and Montessori-level optimism.
Then the banana snapped in half and your child accused you of ruining their life.
Now? Now you're sipping whatever’s in this mug like it’s court-ordered. And honestly, maybe it should be.
Featuring bold lettering and 12 handle colors to match your current emotional damage, this mug is for anyone who made it to 9:00am without setting the house on fire—barely.
Gentle parenting was the dream.
This mug is the reality.
Perfect For:
– Parents who use their “soft voice” but it’s definitely a threat
– Survivors of breakfast meltdowns and bedtime negotiations
– Anyone whose child sobbed because the wind touched them
❌ What This Mug Won’t Do:
– Teach your child not to scream at a slice of toast
– Heal your trauma from episode 6 of Bluey
– Stop you from muttering “you’ve got to be kidding me” every 11 minutes
– Replace the caffeine you left in the microwave… again
– Prevent glitter-based war crimes
🌈 Product Features
– Bright, bold colors: choose your handle based on which child broke you
– Dishwasher-safe: because your sanity’s already hanging by a thread
– Microwave-safe: reheat that same cup 3 times, as always
– ORCA-coated for max vibrancy and lasting sarcasm
– 100% glossy ceramic: tough enough to survive a tantrum (not yours… probably)
🧼 Care Instructions
Dishwasher or hand wash.
Caffeine not included. Neither is a co-parent who knows where the *&%$ lunchbox is.
 
OFMITA – We Hate Everything – Especially Snack Time Negotiations – Professionally.