🦷 ALWAYS ILL-PREPARED FOR MY DAILY EXISTENTIAL CRISIS Tee
It’s giving: “I scheduled productivity, but dread showed up first.” This tee isn’t just a statement—it’s a pre-shrunk cry for help. No mascot. No distraction. Just bold, retro text that hits harder than your fourth internal monologue before noon.
Perfect for:

Being emotionally unavailable at brunch—because pancakes can’t fix what’s broken in you, but they help.
Pretending your iced coffee is a coping mechanism, even though it’s just anxiety in liquid form.
Staring blankly into Zoom calls while your soul plays dead—smiling with your mouth, mourning with your eyes.

Product Details:

100% ring-spun cotton—comforting like denial, but less expensive.
Heather/sports grey = a wearable emotional haze that matches your mood and weather app.
No side seams to minimize existential friction, because you don't need any more chafing from reality.
Twill-taped shoulders: stronger than your will to function, and more reliable than your inner circle.
Ribbed collar that holds its shape better than your self-esteem, which tends to disintegrate before noon.
Unisex fit—because anxiety is a group project and everyone's invited.
Lightweight, breathable, and borderline delusional—so you can panic with airflow.

 
OFMITA
We Hate Everything - Even You, You Sweet Unhinged Masterpiece - Professionally