Three Hearts - Crossbody Bag Bottle Holder

You’re not dead.

You’re just… not doing great.

This crossbody water bottle holder features a familiar gaming truth: two and a half hearts left, blinking quietly while you insist you’re “fine.” It’s a wearable health bar for real life—perfect for long days, short patience, and pretending hydration will fix everything.

Made from waterproof PU leather with a scratch-resistant polyester lining, this bag is more than a bottle carrier. It’s a small, structured companion for survival mode. The main compartment fits most cup and bottle sizes, secured with a twist-lock closure and finished with gold-tone hardware that feels way fancier than your current status bar suggests.

The adjustable anti-slip shoulder strap sits comfortably across your body, even when you’re carrying emotional damage in addition to water. Whether you’re commuting, traveling, or just trying to make it through the day without losing another half-heart, it’s functional, lightweight, and quietly judgmental.

Please note: This item requires additional love + handling time than the usual 4-6 business-day turnaround. We'll sweeten the deal with some free goodies.

Why it’s still alive:

• Waterproof PU leather exterior with durable polyester lining
• Crossbody design fits most standard cups and bottles
• Twist-lock closure with gold-tone hardware
• Adjustable anti-slip shoulder strap for all body types
• Structured, lightweight, and easy to wipe clean

Care Instructions:

Wipe with a clean, dry cloth to remove dust.

No save point required.

You’ve taken some hits.

But you’re still playing.

OFMITA

We Hate Everything — Even You — Professionally.