Almost Too Emo to Function - Tee

💀 ALMOST TOO EMO TO FUNCTION - Tee

You’ve got a skeleton in your closet—and it cries.
This shirt gets it. It’s cute, it’s dead inside, and it’s barely holding it together with irony and eyeliner.
You're not dramatic. You're just emotionally committed to the bit.

Perfect for when you want to melt into the floor but with aesthetic.

Perfect For:

– Former scene kids who now cry at Excel
– People who schedule breakdowns between meetings
– Anyone who listens to sad music in the shower on purpose
– Skeletons with seasonal depression

🖤 Emo Vital Stats

Hope Levels – critically low
Crying Frequency – rhythmic
Functionality – theoretical
Skeleton Mood – wet tissue

Warning: shirt may cause nostalgic panic about MySpace profiles and 2008.

🧵 Product Features

– 100% ring-spun cotton: soft enough to scream-cry in
– Lightweight (4.5 oz/yd²): for breathability during emotional spirals
– Unisex fit: heartbreak fits everyone
– Durable print: tear-resistant (emotionally, not physically)
– Tagless neckline: because you’re already carrying enough labels

🧼 Care Instructions

Wash cold. Dry low. Don’t bleach—unless it’s your bangs.
This shirt does not come with a therapist, but it will nod in support.

OFMITA

We Hate Everything – Even Our Own Feelings – Professionally.