Alive, But Not Like… Enthusiastically - Tee

Alive, But Not Like… Enthusiastically Tee 🥱

Congratulations. You survived. Technically. This tee captures the quiet triumph of making it through another day without screaming into a trash can. Perfect for anyone who answers “how are you?” with a shrug and a long, haunted stare.

Made for the burnt-out, the low-battery, and the permanently underwhelmed. Whether you're crawling through a work week or just existing in quiet protest, this shirt lets the world know you're here—but not exactly thrilled about it.

Product Features

✅ 100% US-grown ring-spun cotton that’s softer than your will to try
✅ No side seams (because seams are just another thing to hold together and we’re done with that)
✅ Ribbed knit collar that doesn’t quit—unlike you
✅ Classic fit and crew neck, because “fashion risk” isn’t in your vocabulary right now
✅ Ethically sourced, unlike your coping mechanisms

Care Instructions

• Don’t dry clean (you won’t)

• Don’t bleach (obviously)

• Tumble dry low (like your energy levels)

• Machine wash cold (like your heart, post-2016)

• Iron only if you’re trying to impress someone, which… unlikely

OFMITA

We Hate Everything – Even Your Half-Hearted Attempt at Existing – Professionally.