Jesus Knows When You're Reading Smut - Hoodie

This hoodie is for people who loudly claim they’re “huge readers” but somehow never stop talking about that genre. Soft, cozy, and mildly incriminating, it features a centered graphic that gently calls out the difference between being well-read and being… selectively enthusiastic.

 

The illustrated design keeps the tone playful — less judgment, more knowing nod. Made from a comfortable midweight cotton-poly blend, it’s warm enough for long reading sessions, book club meetings you absolutely misrepresented, or curling up with something that has a shirtless cover you’ll insist is “plot-driven.” Drop shoulders and a roomy kangaroo pocket make it easy to settle in and commit to the bit.

 

Wear it at home, casual hangouts, or anywhere people say things like “I mostly read classics” while side-eyeing their Kindle history. It doesn’t expose you — it just confirms suspicions.

 

Product Features

• Midweight 50/50 cotton-poly blend (8.0 oz/yd²) for warmth and clean print detail

• Tubular knit construction for a smooth fit with no side seams

• Kangaroo pouch pocket for hands, bookmarks, or convenient misdirection

• Double-lined hood with color-matched drawcord

Care Instructions

• Machine wash cold (max 30°C / 90°F)

• Tumble dry medium

• Iron or steam on low if needed

• Do not dry clean

• Non-chlorine bleach only

Read proudly. Explain selectively.

 

OFMITA
We Hate Everything — Even You — Professionally.