Alive... But Not Like Enthusiastically – Plush Blanket 🛌💤

Existing is exhausting, but this plush blanket makes it tolerable. Soft enough to smother your enthusiasm (what little is left), it’s the perfect accessory for those who show up to life out of spite rather than passion.

Whether you’re doomscrolling, ignoring calls, or staring at the ceiling like it owes you money, this blanket’s velveteen hug has you covered. Think of it as survival gear for the terminally unmotivated.

Features

• Plush softness for those “horizontal coping” days

• Adult-sized, because adulthood is one long nap you can’t escape

• Vibrant print that looks way more excited than you’ll ever be

• Durable stitching—outlasts your will to participate in group projects

• Quick-dry polyester, ready for tears, coffee spills, or both at once

Care Instructions

• Machine wash cold

• Tumble dry low

• Do not bleach, iron, or dry clean—life’s already done enough damage

OFMITA
We Hate Everything – Especially Forced Enthusiasm – Professionally.