Straight Outta Marriage — Tee
$24.00
$20.00
Tees $18+, When You Buy 2+
Straight Outta Marriage — Tee
Freshly released. No ankle monitor. For now.
This shirt is a victory announcement disguised as a warning label. Straight Outta Marriage isn’t about what ended—it’s about what you got back: silence, personal space, your side of the bed, and the radical freedom to eat garbage at midnight without a discussion.
The boxed, official-looking design makes it feel certified. Like someone finally stamped your paperwork, slid it across the desk, and said, “You’re good to go.” No fine print. No counseling session. Just clearance.
It’s dark humor for anyone who discovered that peace and quiet are wildly underrated lifestyle upgrades.
The tee itself is soft, lightweight, and built for your post-marital era—whether that means reckless optimism, cautious independence, or unapologetic selfishness. Comfortable enough for rebuilding your identity. Durable enough for your first bad haircut afterward.
Product Details
Soft, breathable fabric with a smooth, broken-in feel
Lightweight construction for everyday freedom
Classic unisex fit with no emotional baggage
High-contrast boxed graphic that stays sharp
Built to survive repeat washes and repeat poor choices
Not bitter. Just unencumbered.
OFMITA
We Hate Everything — Even Marriage— Professionally.
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