Jesus Knows When You're Reading Smut - The Heavyweight Hoodie
$50.00
Jesus Knows When You’re Reading Smut — Heavyweight Hooded Sweatshirt
This heavyweight hoodie is what happens when comfort meets quiet guilt. Thick, warm, and unapologetically cozy, it’s built for late nights, long reads, and the kind of internal monologues you don’t share at brunch. The relaxed fit makes it easy to disappear into, while the fleece-lined hood and dense fabric do an excellent job of insulating both heat and questionable life choices.
The front graphic pairs a warm, mildly knowing expression with a line that lands somewhere between playful irreverence and “He saw that chapter too.” It’s faith-adjacent humor for people who still believe… just not every warning label. Equal parts confessional booth and comfort blanket, this sweatshirt doesn’t judge — it just reminds you that Someone probably noticed.
Product Features
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Heavy 10 oz fabric for real, substantial warmth
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Fleece-lined hood that holds heat on cold mornings and colder realizations
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Relaxed fit for layering, slouching, and avoiding accountability
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Ribbed cuffs and waistband to keep the warmth (and secrets) in
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Tear-away label and durable double-needle stitching
Care Instructions
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Machine wash cold (max 30°C / 90°F), gentle cycle
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Do not bleach
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Tumble dry low
Wear it to study sessions, lazy Sundays, or anywhere you want comfort with just a hint of divine side-eye.
OFMITA
We Hate Everything — Even You — Professionally.
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