It's Because That's Why - Tee

🧱 IT’S BECAUSE THAT’S WHY TEE

This shirt doesn’t owe you an explanation—because that is the explanation.

 

Featuring bold, block-letter typography in stark black on heather gray, this design gives off the emotional warmth of a DMV rejection letter and the philosophical depth of a brick to the face. Perfect for people who say things like “because I said so” and don’t flinch when questioned.

 

Whether you’re stonewalling logic or just done with the debate, this tee shuts down the conversation before it starts.

 

The First to Wear It

They say the first person to wear this shirt was a forklift operator named Felix R——.

 

June 17th, 2019. Felix showed up to work at OFMITA Apparel with the shirt freshly pressed. His supervisor asked why he looked smug.
He shrugged and said, “It’s because. That’s why.”

 

It was the last thing anyone ever heard him say.

 

Security footage captured Felix walking into Dock 4 around lunchtime. At 12:47 PM, the camera stuttered—frames dropped, colors distorted. A single still frame remains: Felix mid-step, but blurred at the edges. His shirt in focus. His face unreadable. Then nothing. Not a trace. Not a body. Not even a badge swipe.

 

The building was sealed for “maintenance.” The story never made national news.

 

But the internet remembers.

 

What follows has been reposted, deleted, and re-uploaded across forums under different usernames. But the text never changes. It always reappears. Exactly the same. Like it’s been waiting.

 

[r/WorkGoneWeird • Posted by u/jillnotjill_87 • 2 yrs ago]

⚠️ Okay so this might sound insane but… did anyone else work at OFMITA Apparel in the early 2000s?? It's freaking me out--so many people say it didn't even exist back then. Is this some fucked up Mandela thing?

Back in 2019, this guy Felix who used to work there vanished during his lunch break. It was local news for like a day but then it all just… stopped.

I was a night shift temp. A week later, my badge swiped me into Dock 4—only problem is, Dock 4 had been sealed since his disappearance. Place was chained. But I got in.

Inside, I swear to god… it smelled like ozone and printer toner. One forklift was still running with no one on it. And taped to the seat was that shirt.

“IT’S BECAUSE THAT’S WHY.”

Not folded. Just… standing there on its own. Like it had a spine.

I noped out. Quit the next day.

But I’ve seen him since.

Twice.

Once at a mall in Tulsa. Once in the background of a documentary about abandoned water parks.

Same shirt. Same smirk.

I called out to him.

He turned, tapped the words on the shirt, and said:

“You’re asking the wrong question.”

Then he vanished again.

Edit: Stop DMing me weird links. 

 

No one knows where Felix is now. Some think he’s dead. Others think he phased into another layer of reality and monetized it.

 

All we know is:
The shirt remained.
And if you’re reading this, you’ve already seen him, too.

 

What This Shirt Might Do:

• Win arguments through sheer refusal

• Match your resting apathy face

• Cause memory static in fluorescent-lit break rooms

Specs

• 100% ringspun cotton (soft, but stern)

• Heather gray with black minimalist print

• Unisex fit – choose your usual spiral into absurdity

• Pre-shrunk, side-seamed, and reality-resistant

• Printed in a secure location. Probably.

OFMITA
We Hate Everything – Even You – Algorithmically.

P.S. Felix, you're fired.
Unless you actually did quit. In which case, you're hired.
And now fired again.
Glitching out is still a NCNS, buddy.